I Thought The Words Mental Health “Meant I Was Crazy”

My name is Abraham Sculley and I was diagnosed with major depression during my freshman year of college.

Growing up, I had no idea what mental health was. I grew up in a devout Christian family and Jamaican-American household with not one but two Jamaican parents. At home, we didn’t talk about our feelings, and to me, the words “mental health” meant you were crazy. As a young man, I was raised to be a protector, provider, and priest for my future family. And there wasn’t any space for being vulnerable or expressing emotions that weren’t positive.

In 2014 I left home to be the first in my family to attend college. I was excited to go to college, but as a first-generation student, I dealt with a lot of challenges. I worked to provide for myself financially, I was a full-time student and I felt the daily pressure of succeeding at a high level to prove to my family, myself (and my 2 haters), that I could be successful.

It wasn’t until my second semester that everything went downhill. I became overwhelmed with stress and the pressure of being perfect weighed heavy on me. I remember not being able to physically get out of bed. I was missing classes, missing work, and I lost all motivation.

One weekend while in my apartment, I got a phone call that changed my life. My best friend saw that I was struggling and withdrawing so she decided to reach out and check-in. That conversation became a catalyst for me. It was the first time I had ever been honest, open, and transparent with someone, anyone.

Speaking with my friend helped me realize that it was okay to struggle, and I didn’t have to be ashamed about it. She even told me about the counseling center on campus. After speaking with a professional, I was able to identify a name for what I was experiencing, which was depression. And it was the awareness that led me to develop a passion for speaking up about mental health.

Today, I speak with audiences across the country, sharing my story so others will see there is hope, there is help, and we don’t have to suffer in silence. My passion for mental health advocacy comes from my battle with depression during college.